Vaults - When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

The majority of my clients are women of a certain age. And over the past year, I’ve had the pleasure of talking to dozens of these women from all over the country. One of the questions I always ask them during our free Health Strategy sessions is:

When you look in the mirror, who do you see looking back at you?

Recently, one lady said to me, “I have not seen Mary in a very long time!”

This isn’t unusual. I hear it quite a bit.

Here’s the thing. The reflection we see in the mirror represents how we see ourselves.

Unfortunately, most women very rarely see themselves as they are. When they look in the mirror, what they see are their flaws; the parts of themselves, physically and emotionally, that they hate–expanding hips, big belly, droopy rare end, saggy skin, a woman past her prime, etc.).

But if you loath yourself that much, where will you find the impetus to create change? And how can such deep self-loathing not lead to other negative behavioral and emotional consequences such as emotional eating?

In many cases, it does.

Developing a new way of seeing

I know it’s hard to look past your flaws and imperfections especially when the world around you reinforces these ideas that you are flawed and imperfect.

But in order to create a healthier relationship with yourself you have to first develop a new way of seeing. Instead of looking at yourself with a critical eye, you have to change your paradigm and learn to accept yourself just the way you are.

You don’t have to like where you are, but you have to learn to accept it as “what is.” Before you can create positive change, you have to first accept what is. No use beating yourself up over it. Accept it, then get working.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve let yourself slide. Accept it. It’s where you are.

Now ask yourself, why is it important for you to make a change? How is your life going to be different? What will you have after making this change that you don’t already have?

Start with why.

If you’re looking to change your body, why is that important to you?

If you’re looking to get your sexy back and feel comfortable in your own skin, why is that important to you?

If you want to feel confident in who you are so you can walk into a room and BE a part of the conversation, instead of being a spectator in the back of the room, why is that important to you?

When you know why it’s important to create change, the how and what will be much easier.