Vaults - The Tyranny Of The Clock

Why we never seem to have enough time

The two phrases I hear more than any other are: “I’m too busy” and “I just don’t have the time.”

In fact, “I don’t have the time” seems to be the new anthem for our busy stressed out, over-committed lives today.

But is time-crunch really just about not having enough time to do what we want or is it just the latest catch-all phrase for things we just “don’t want to do?”

The truth is feeling stressed about time largely has to do with three things: values, attitude and mindset.

So to a large degree, the feeling of “I don’t have time,” has very little to do with time itself.

Let me explain…

How you spend your time is usually a good indicator of your values

I exercise 5-6 days per week, play tennis 3-4 days per week, and spend at least 3 days each week doing activities with my three daughters. We do tennis, basketball, martial arts, swimming, ride our bikes along the beach, and sometimes just hang out at the Farmer’s market.

Why do I spend time on all these things? Yes, you guessed it.

Making time to exercise, play and spend time with my kids are the things I value most.

These are the things that feed my soul so, of course, I make time for them.

In fact, back in the day before I gave up my corporate suit and tie, I used to get up at 5am every morning to go running or go to the gym before work, because my physical practice fuels me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

What do you value most?

Before you can commit yourself to something new, you have to first give up something old.

There are only 24 hours in a day. And right now you spend every one of those hours doing something.

Whether you’re binge-watching Netflix, browsing Facebook, working out, or spending time with family and friends, every one of those hours is currently accounted for.

So the reason why some people are constantly time stressed is because they’re constantly trying to ADD new things to their schedule without first identifying what they’re willing to give up as a trade off.

Let me repeat.

Your time is already accounted for, so before you can add something new to your busy day, you MUST give up something else.

When you adopt this new mindset, you will never again use the old victim mindset phrase “I don’t have time.”

Instead, you will be empowered to say what you truly mean:

“I’m not going to commit to that right now because it isn’t as important as the other things I’m currently committed to.”

This is a more empowering approach because it allows you to make an immediate comparison between how you’re currently spending your time and how you could be spending that time.

For instance, if you’re currently browsing Facebook for an hour each day, yet you can’t see where you could make the time to exercise, this new mindset empowers you to make a decision about what’s most important to you.

Facebook or exercise?

And maybe you might even come up with a third option. Could you browse Facebook while exercising?

So it’s not that you don’t have time to exercise, but rather, you choose to spend your time doing something else that, to you, is more important.

Now do you see how powerful a shift in mindset could be?

Feeling Overwhelmed and short on time often means your schedule is filled with things you don’t enjoy doing.

As I wrote in my last book, Energize Your Life, when we’re doing things that are meaningful to us, we feel less time pressure, less rushed and more inspired.

This has been validated by several research studies. In fact, one such study reported that men who volunteered more felt less time stress than women, even when the men spent more hours volunteering than the women.

How is this possible? It has to do with the nature of the volunteer activity.

Case in point, when I volunteer at my kid’s school, I assist with PE or the annual 5k run. My wife, on the other hand, volunteers as a room mom or other things that require meetings, setup and other menial tasks.

Now I’m not saying that her activities aren’t fulfilling, but I doubt she gets the same fulfillment that I get. I get to be a motivational cheerleader. What could be more fulfilling than that?

The bottom line is that when we’re doing more fulfilling and enjoyable things we tend to be less stressed about time, than if our day is filled with menial chores.

Your escape…

1. Take control of your schedule

Yes, I know, it’s easier said than done when you’ve got a million work commitments, afterschool activities with the kids, house work, shopping, walking the dog…

I’m stressed out just thinking about all those things.

But here’s the deal…

It’s okay not getting everything done. Really, it’s okay!

Do the most important things first. That way, at least you’ll feel better knowing that you’ve accomplished something important, instead of just being “busy.”

2. Delete more than you add to your schedule

Let’s face it; most people just like to be busy for the sake of being busy. They don’t feel okay with themselves unless they’re busy doing something, whether or not that something is really important.

So take control of your schedule. Plan your week. Make sure you’re doing something meaningful with your time everyday and spread out the menial tasks evenly over the week.

And most importantly, learn to say “no,” to your boss, the kids, your friends and anybody who want to add more “stuff” to your already busy schedule.

3. Schedule time to do “absolutely nothing!”

Remember when you were a kid and you used to just sit and daydream?

When was the last time you just sat staring out the window at nothing at all?

When was the last time you just sat at the coffee shop or in the park just watching people come and go?

I know it’s hard because most people would rather undergo electric shock than to sit still for fifteen minutes doing nothing.

But doing nothing every once in a while is the most important thing you can do for yourself. It’s a loving thing to do.

Try it sometime.